I don't know what's worse - wanting to feel or not wanting to feel. Whenever I feel something significant, I'd rather not feel anything. I'd rather be gray than white or black. Whenever I enter the gray zone, I'd give anything to feel something, anything. It's like we humans are programmed to want what we can't have. Selfishness divides us. You're not supposed to think about anything anymore.
Sometimes I want to play with fire, and then when I do - I realize I'd rather be home sleeping.
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