the longer that I'm out here

"It could bend, or it could break."

I knew it was happening, and I knew it would happen. But for some reason it killed me ten times over when it was confirmed. Knowing you're going to die doesn't amount to actually dying.

It's a terrible feeling. The kind that works it's way through your body just so you feel it all over. The kind that hurts even after even when it's not suppose to. It just leaves it's mark, like your body can't reproduce enough cells to create a new skin for it.

I honestly don't know why it happened, it just did.I tried to stop it, but you can't stop a ship from sinking by trying to convince yourself that it's not going too. And I'd like to think that it will change. Things always change. But they won't, not this time. I look at it from all angles, and I try to think of how it could mend, but it won't.

It was already bent, now the only thing left to do is break.